A Word a Week- Comfort

Comfort- (1) a state of phyrical ease and freedom from pain (2) the easing or alleciateion of a person’s feelings of grief or distress. (www.dictionary.com)

Being comfortable is a part of the American dream. Or it least it should be, because these days, it is all I want.  In my 20’s I though comfort meant a padded bank account, beautiful furniture, glorious hips, and an amazing reputation.  I fought for it, and always came up short.  My eyes were focused on the wrong kind of comfort.  I see my kids striving for similar comforts, and I want to tell them–NO, that’s not what it really means.

We don’t have a perfect life. We have our mountains and valleys, our triumphs and defeats but one thing I do have now is comfort.

My skin-I am comfortable with who I am. I am not as thin as I dreamed of, but I am okay with that.  I have red blotches on my skin, but I am okay with that.  I am pale, probably glow in the dark pale, and I am okay with that.

My family-As a young mom, I always thought I had something to prove. I felt like I had to prove I could do this parenting thing.  I am okay now. I love my kids, and we know what is best. I am comfortable with that.

My choice to homeschool-It fits us. A lot of people don’t agree, but we wouldn’t want it any other way.

My friendships-I talk to everyone. I bring everyone together, but I am so happy (and comfortable with) my small circle of friends I can count on, that can count on me.

Growing up is hard work, but being comfortable enough to scream THIS IS ME, by what you do and how you live your life—that makes it worth is.

Be careful though, don’t get too comfortable.

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Here’s why I cried when my daughter read to me.

My daughter is 10.  She has friends that love her, she’s talented in so many amazing ways.  She can sing like I have always dreamed of, she can sew things I can’t imagine, she is artistic and emotional and so much better than me in almost every way.  A lot of these gifts are a gift of dyslexia.  Dyslexia has given her the gift of art, of seeing the whole picture before it’s completed, of empathy, compassion and an amazing heart.

As you might imagine, despite all of her incredible gifts, she struggles with reading.  HARD.  She’s so intuitive and creative that she understands things that most ten year olds shouldn’t.  Unrelated to her dyslexia she is just an old soul.  A few years ago, when I was making sure she knew how special she was, we were in the car and she said something I don’t think I’ll ever forget.

Me- “Rylee, you have artistic intelligence that some people dream of. You have a beautiful voice, you are great at math.”

Rylee (holding back tears, because she is also “too strong” to cry”)-” Mom, singing isn’t going to help me check out in the grocery store”

Damn. She’s right, but she shouldn’t know that yet.

We’ve been homeschooling three years and I can’t say that I have a beautiful thought out mission statement other than “Teach my kids to read and that they are valued no matter what” because once they have that, they just need to be taught how to learn. I’ll admit it, I have no idea what she goes through because I read at 5, but we have fought for it for three years.  But I do know what I have seen over the years.

Tears

Her being embaressed in front of friends

More tears

Heartbreak

Tears of frustration

A lot of “I’ll never be able to read”

Hysterical tears

“I’m not like you mom, I can’t just read”

Mom’s shattering heart

Then last night, my girl couldn’t sleep.  I offered what I have 7000 times before in her life. ” Would you like to read me a book? Sometimes that helps me get sleepy.”  Her words, “Well, I might as well have a good attitude about it, because that really makes things easier.” And she did. She walked downstairs and got her chapter book ( Nory Ryan’s Song) and read 3 whole pages.  I held it together while we sat and she read, but after I kissed my baby goodnight, I cried happy tears.  Hearing her read will never get old.  Ever.

 

 

 

It’s (not) so hard to say goodbye to 2017

I am positive that today you are going to read or see about 50 or so posts about moving on from 2017 and what the new year will bring.  I am not one for resolutions but I am one for setting tangible, realistic goals.  I love the idea of a new year, a fresh start, a new story to write.  If I had to look back and reflect on the past few years I could sum up the years up each in a few words.

2014-Discovery

2015-Mistakes

2016-Prosperity

2017-Perspective

For 2018, I hope our word will be growth. As a business owner I know that setting goals that you can touch are the most effective and meaningful way to accomplish what you set out to. So here they are, on paper for the world to see.

  • Reduce our waste and our carbon footprint.  This means no more paper towels, limited paper products, reusable cups for my Starbucks runs.  We are going to purchase more stainless steel and glass and get rid of the plastic and toxic items in our home.  I need to teach my kids more about our world and how much we impact it.
  • Get Healthy in body, mind and soul.  The big kids and I have mom and child journals.  There is a “Mom & Daughter” book and a “Mom and Son” book.  These kids grow up so fast. These journals are going to help us connect on a higher level.
  • Write more.
  • Rely more on essential oils and their amazing healing properties.  This brand has been incredible and we LOVE using them.
  • Meal Plan-We need to live more frugally. I am going to commit to meal planning and commit to meatless Monday’s using this great vegan cookbook by Thug Kitchen.  I will be posting our meals on our “What’s for Dinner” page, so stay tuned!
  • The kids and I are going to read at LEAST 3 chapter books a month. That is 36 books.  If you are interested, they are listed under books we love, and we will provide a review when they are done.  Much of our learning is done through living books.

What are your goals for 2018?  What will you accomplish to make you better in body, mind and soul. Here’s to saying goodbye to the good, but old and welcoming a new year of growth and prosperity. Here’s to 2018.  Cheers!